Part 20: Parents

It was not planned. Further texts should now truly not arise, because I still find it a bit creepy to make a part of my life public. For example, in the past I’ve bumped into strangers at a child’s birthday party who unawares reminded me of a detail of my life – that they knew…

Wait. Test. Negative. This cannot be. Test again and again and just wait a few more days. And then the certainty and the shock. How can that be? Fucking shit! Two weeks of smoking and drinking and dancing again and then again and in the meantime even less exciting, but more consuming. It did not…

Writing about pregnancy is idle, there is tons of material on the net, in books, from friends and mothers. Just so you know, I too had to throw up, for four months and yes it did stop suddenly and yes good months followed. Those that came after were more arduous, anticipating a bit of an…

These twice first weeks were limited and ran involuntarily towards the great upheaval. The upheaval brought an end to being in a cave and had been the topic for months, the move. The plan was for both Gianni and I to move, to two apartments next to each other, connected with a breakthrough so that…

Since my daughter’s father has a new boyfriend, that’s nice for him. And I am happy with him. Of course. I like him. Of course, I’m a little envious. But yes, sure, I’m happy with him. That’s the way it should be and I really try hard. My being alone is not bad. Often enough…

1. For me, the fronts are clear. I am a lesbian. I am single. Gianni is a good friend. We never had sex. My environment knows that. Sometimes, I have the impression, I have to justify that Gianni and I get along well. Sometimes, it seems to me, I almost have to prove that there…