Part 35: Being a family
1. For me, the fronts are clear. I am a lesbian. I am single. Gianni is a good friend. We never had sex. My environment knows that. Sometimes, I have the impression, I have to justify that Gianni and I get along well. Sometimes, it seems to me, I almost have to prove that there is nothing partnership-like between us. Sometimes, I think, we would like to be seen as a couple. Mostly these circumstances annoy me, because they come from the outside and have nothing to do with the inside. From friends, new people or family. For me, it causes an eye roll. Visible or not. In the end, it affects me little. For me, the fronts are clear. I rarely engage in hand-to-hand combat. I prefer to run Familyship.
2. after the first blink of an eye and the first hello and good morning the reach for the phone, we are awake. All right, I’ll finish my breakfast and then I’ll come by,” it replied, and 20 minutes later the doorbell rang. After hello and yes, all good, I went to shower and Milla got a fresh diaper and clothes for the day from Gianni, he pureed apple and banana and when I was done we jumped in the car and jetted off. Me to the dentist, Milla and him to the park and afterwards he to work and me with Milla to the toddler group.
3. it was any day of the week. It was raining. Twine. When I woke up, I thought, oh how cozy. I was a bit under the weather, Milla had been thirsty twice more often than usual last night and on top of that she had woken up an hour earlier than expected. I, however, had gone to bed an hour later than usual. But that didn’t matter.
It was raining cats and dogs and we didn’t have a coffee date until the afternoon. Gianni was going to be late today to pick up Milla, he was working late today. So I stayed lying with her for a while and had the faint hope that she might even fall asleep again briefly. So we lay in bed until she finally squirmed defensively in my arm, kicking, scratching and squealing. Out. Quickly. I picked her up and went with her to the mirror, once briefly yelled at the two mirror monsters, she enjoyed that, and then I put her back in her bed. I had to take a shower. As I undressed, she began to whine, while I soaped her hair, she began to scream. I sang her a song and tried to be louder than her. Finally, I jumped into the bedroom soaking wet, took Milla in my arms, calmed her down, put her back, gave her another toy and went back into the bathroom. As I reached for my towel, a sharp cry came from the nursery, I ran back. Milla hung upside down between the bed and the heater. I grabbed the wriggling feet and took Milla in my arms, calmed her down, put her back, gave her another toy and covered the abyss with the bedding. So I was back in the bathroom getting the hair dryer, when another scream came from the nursery. Milla had nothing this time. Laughed as I came running. I now carried the baby bouncer into the bathroom. Put Milla in it. Then I combed my hair. Milla whined. I turned on the hair dryer. Milla smiled when the warm jet of air blew into her face. Otherwise, she whined. After that, I carried the baby bouncer into the kitchen. I got the banana into the cup quickly, but the apple needed to be peeled. Milla whined. I got the phone and found children’s songs on Spotify. That was enough for the apple. And the pureeing succeeded as well. I fed Milla in her high chair. She became tired. Me too. And I was looking forward to the sofa. So I put Milla to bed. She sucked her thumb and closed her eyes. I moved away. And tripped over a slipper. Milla raised her head. After that the legs. After that the arms. Then she hit all four extremities on the mattress. She did that five times and then she started whining. I took her out of bed again, grabbed a book, maybe she would fall asleep with me on the sofa. We were through with the book. I picked up a second one. I sang a song. I put her back to bed. And did not stumble this time. I quickly answered two mails and turned on a machine laundry and then lay down on the sofa and closed my eyes and had cold feet. I have never been able to sleep with cold feet. So I made a hot water bottle, and because I was already there also a tea, and lay down again and closed my eyes and felt good and thought oh Jesus, this is awesome! And then it didn’t take five minutes and out of the nursery came hmmpfff, hmmmpffff, pffffffff, dada, gegege. Staying down was pointless, so I jumped up and fed the sparrow and then best to get outdoors. Rainproof jacket on and go. In the afternoon an appointment, until then it would already go with the nerves and the afterwards would distract me. So we went and quickly also to the drugstore and then I almost had to hurry. When we got back home, I discovered the text message.
My date had a sore throat and so I no longer had a date. So I read and sang and rocked and chatted away until the evening, when Gianni came by and took Milla with him. I went for a jog, did the dishes and processed the other three emails, threw the laundry in the dryer and put the baby bouncer away. When Milla was back, I put her to bed and she fell asleep. I sank down on the sofa. Since then, I have found rainy weather to be rather ambivalent.
4. otherwise much more. At the zoo, with friends, dinner, barbecue, lying in the meadow, grandma and grandpa and nonno and nonna, on the plane, on the train, in the car, at home, on the sofa, under the Christmas tree. We met together, in threes, or with many more, or were in twos, or sometimes alone. And overall, we were fine with it. We took turns, passed together or alone, shared, exchanged, gave, and took. And it worked well. Sometimes more and sometimes less good. Mostly pretty good, though.
