Part 11: Moscow and even further

We walked on and on and I became more aware and conscious that this was indeed the right path. Step by step we became more sober. One last cigarette in front of the hotel, stepping from one leg to the other. At the reception our question about vodka. We were told in a friendly but firm manner that it was an alcohol-free hotel and that we should please respect that. So up the stairs, key out, into the room. We spread slush on the floor and I looked for the utensils. The following night was even more sleep deprived and the following morning even more tired. The following day similar to the first, only a bit more settled and the further evening more routine and the following night at least as sleep deprived and the then following morning was the day of the return flight. Still quickly to the Duma, raise a middle finger and post this on Facebook, Russia had just passed its homophobia law. Then the separation, two different airports, two different directions. I was sitting on the train to Domodedovo, the sun was shining and I was exhausted and somehow also quite happy. At the airport, the suitcases were loaded onto the plane, a rising full moon above the taxiway, I held a hand over my stomach and knew it had worked.

continue to part 12: Moscow afterwards

Auch interessant

  • Part 7: And now?

    After all, the bang did not come suddenly. The timing did, but everything else was foreseeable. The decision to continue as a single person was already made before being single had occurred. Because everything else was there: father-to-be, friends, job, family, securities. And, of course, the desire. The dear psyche only first had to be…

  • Part 37: Priorities

    It used to be different. If you woke up and your throat hurt, if your muscles were heavy and the thermometer showed something you didn’t like, you probably had pulled the covers back over your head and thought, hey, one day without feeling guilty about not going to work. Now you thought rather, all right,…

  • The generation question

    Some time ago I found myself on a talk show. This was a serious format on public German television, where things are basically quite personal. I came into a large hall. Rows of chairs dipped in blue shadowy light surrounded a centrally arranged sofa landscape in a circle. Beige and brightly lit, the cone of…

  • Weekly change model

    When she gets off the bus and sees me, Milla runs off and jumps into my arms. The gym bag gets tangled up on our legs and we are a tangle of people, jackets and bags. Milla comes back to me on Monday. The following Monday, she jumps into Gianni’s arms. It’s as natural as…

  • Part 14: Berlin II

    Wait. Test. Negative. This cannot be. Test again and again and just wait a few more days. And then the certainty and the shock. How can that be? Fucking shit! Two weeks of smoking and drinking and dancing again and then again and in the meantime even less exciting, but more consuming. It did not…